Saying "In God’s Time" doesn’t make things better...It simply makes them worthwhile. - Corina.
God hears our inner cries.
... Here are my thoughts put to verse
Inspired by God's Holy WORD, and personal experience
I pray you will be blessed, inspired, and challenged.
For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. 2 Corinthinans 4:6
note: All comments will be screened before they appear publicly. God BLESS.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”- James 1:5
My prayer: "Dear Lord, please give me the wisdom to know when to be 'silent'." 
~ Corina.
my myer's Briggs personality type is: ISFJ. What's yours?? (Do the test: )
http://typefocus.com --- If nothing else you'll get a good laugh. [Eyebrow]
Oh well... leave it with the Lord.
It's time like this, I wish I were completely ignorant to everything! But since I'm not, "Denial" is my second choice. 
Well, whatever it is, I hope I'm ready. ...for enlightenment, discernment; and praying that God will open the doors necessary. Praying that my October work schedule cooperates with ministry objectives.
At This place "Again"
I prayed in tears, they were so much better
than the words I could say
I laid myself broken before you,
ready for you to re-model this clay.
I laid my emotions naked before you,
Ashamed because of my defeat
I pleaded in silence,
To be made complete.
I tried to run,
but I tried in vain.
And now I'm burned out
because I'm at this place “again”
Does it get any easier?
I'll answer my own question. No. It gets harder. Travelling in circles mismerizes you, especially when your destination seems so far away.
Has the crimson flow been tainted,
With guilt and tears and shame?
Does the blood still have the power,
For the one who’s fallen to reclaim?
Does forgiveness still abound,
Or has a fate been sealed,
Is it possible to recover from failure,
Or is it too late to be healed?
Does the sinner now stand condemned,
Because she has fallen from grace;
Does the Saviour now disown her,
And hide his blessed face?
Does she ask too many questions,
And shall she die alone?
Is it too late to repent, and redeem herself
Or is she on her own?
Does an island know it’s neighbour;
Or is it isolated from all the rest;
Has it been shown time to reflect,
And in fact, been chosen to be blessed?
Does the child of God feel alone,
Isolated and surrounded by despair;
Drowning in what seems to be defeat
And the feeling of failure as her fear?
Why does she talk in riddles,
And not just claim the crimson stream?
Because she feels defeated,
Unworthy to be redeemed.
Silent screams ring out,
Disguised in solemn glance;
Only the Saviour knows her pain,
Deciding if she shall have a second chance!
Hebrews 6:4 - 6 (NIV)
It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.
Comment: My mind is really perplexed right now. This poem wasn't really inspired by the above passage, however it is on my mind quite a bit at the moment. I realize NObody is perfect, and that we all make mistakes... However, the BIGGER question to me is: How does one seek forgiveness when they can't forgive themselves?
I haven't denounced God. I haven't rejected Him in any sense of the expression (contrary to the message I might be relaying through this poem) ... However, I definately don't feel his closeness... I definately do feel like an island... I already do feel like a failure.... I really don't know what's next --- IF ANYTHING!!!!!!!
Silence is deafening, when somebody is earnestly searching for answers!
Appended: January 15th/08
Comments: The poem is entitled "Does the blood lose it's power" --- which obviously is a question... In the last few days, God has answered that: No.
The blood does not lose it's power. Christ died for the sins of yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever! The only real question left unanswered is: Does there come a time when we condemn our own selves, and fail to apply the blood?
That doesn't give us a free ticket to continue sinning, under the presumption that there's always forgiveness. What it does mean is that: When we seek with sincerity, forgiveness is available --- because of the sacrifice of Jesus.
I'll get off my soapbox... besides, I've still got way too much 'stuff' to settle in my own mind.
Blessings.
Corina.
Hidden beneath a veil of confidence,
Is the struggle which is found within,
At best, a mere illusion,
That tears me down again and again!
Outside, I appear to be confident,
When really - I’m dying deep inside,
Desperately trying to keep up appearances
With doubts & fears I try to hide!
But Lord you see much further,
Than the mask that fools them all
You see the disbelief that tortures me,
And the tears that refuse to fall!
I’m determined to follow through,
To do all that you ask of me,
And even though I’m scared to death;
I’m determined to surrender to Thee!
And now with all of that said,
What way would you have me go?
Reveal the paths of righteousness,
and your will so I would know...
Where He Leads Me I will Follow,
Where He sends me I will go,
And when Satan tries to trip me,
I choose to practice my faith, and grow!!!
/ "Thankful"This is the LORD's sign to you that the LORD will do what he has promised: Isaiah 38:7 (NIV) ....
The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. Psalm 145:13b (NIV)...
And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. John 14:13,13 (NIV)
New Hope
Lord, I am left in complete awe
I find it so hard to accept what you have done for me;
The way your hand has provided,
And the way Jesus sets me free!
Nothing less than a miracle
Of proportions I can never tell,
The light of hope you shed,
Where no hope had ever dwell.
Lord, I can’t express
Just how much gratitude I have right now;
To see your Grace at work,
And the blessings your mercies allow...
Lord, I would just pray
That all of this would bring glory to you —
That you would speak to those,
Who don’t realize what your love can do!
Lord, I feel unworthy
But yet know this is your will;
So I pray you’ll equip me,
To bring more glory to you still!
Lord, I would pray that lives
Who’ve not yet come to know your name,
Would come to bow, and surrender their lives,
And your Salvation claim!
...And Lord, I would just ask
That you’d continue to take the lead —
That you would be the motive,
Behind my every thought, word & deed.
(Not as I am worthy, but through the matchless name of JESUS I pray - Amen.)
Comment:
Without going into detail ‘right now’, I simply cannot express just how overwhelmed I am over how God is pouring out his blessings in my life! It’s a truly humbling experience, and also one that really has caused me to gain so much NEW HOPE!!!!
Not only is God allowing me to see his hand of provision, but he’s also allowing me to witness the change that this miracle is causing in others around me...Those who right now, do not believe — but I am certain, will come to accept Christ after witnessing his hand at work!
My only prayer is that God’s name will continued to be glorified in all that is happening, and what is about to take place — and so, in saying all of that: I leave this whole situation in the Lord’s hands.
God's words to Ezekiel, after he instructed him to prophesy to the Nation of Israel...
When I say to a wicked man, 'You will surely die,' and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. Ezekiel 3:18 (NIV)
Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before him, he will die. Since you did not warn him, he will die for his sin. The righteous things he did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. Ezekiel 3:20 (NIV)
when God calls us to something, it's not really optional. What defines the sin is the lack of ignorance...If we know God is asking something of us, and we don't do it, than we are knowingly disobeying.
My RUDE AWAKENING...
RE: Officership
Just when I thought I had things settled, or should I say: Just when I had numbed myself from feeling the conviction of it; God planted a fresh lot of conviction on me!(And got me thinking that I mighten be in God's will, by refusing to persue things forward...)
So anyway, I just started reading the book of Ezekiel (OT), and I done so while right in the middle of trying to decide 'again' if I ought to persue the whole Officership thing...so here's where my mind went:
Chapter 1: 'The Creatures'
Each one went straight ahead. Wherever the spirit would go, they would go, without turning as they went. Ezekiel 1:12 (NIV)
I never got all caught up in the description of these creatures, but rather my mind directly lead me to think about the fact that these creatures were moving forward (not looking back) and were filled with the Spirit...(We could learn something here!!!) and they were like light. (directly reminded me of our witness.) The other thing I thought of when it described these creatures' animal faces, was symbolism of certain characteristics associated with the different animals... (Yeah, I know - Totally reading into things...not to be taken literally...but this is where God took me
... call it his personal message to "me")
So Chapter 1 Message: 
Filled with the Spirit, move forward with courage, strength and persistance through the Grace of the Lord without looking back. (That's pretty plain!)
Chapter 2:
And you, son of man, do not be afraid of them or their words. Do not be afraid, though briers and thorns are all around you and you live among scorpions. Do not be afraid of what they say or terrified by them, though they are a rebellious house. Ezekiel 2:6 (NIV)
Ezekiel's call. Okay, so to paraphrase it: God laid it out what he wanted Ezekiel to do (which at the time was to address the nation of Israel, for their stubborness and rebellion.) He basically told Ezekiel that it wasn't going to be easy (Ah! I could relate to that!)...But he kept on repeating "Do not be afraid" (verse 6) .... So I thought: Could it be that God is calling me out of my comfort zones and telling me NOT TO BE AFRAID? ("Fear" is a very BIG factor with me, and the whole F/T ministry thing.)
Chapter 3:
This chapter really relayed the message to me that IF GOD CALLS US TO DO SOMETHING, AND IF WE DISOBEY OR NEGLECT TO DO SO, THAN HE'S GOING TO HOLD US ACCOUNTABLE...That's a pretty daunting thing, knowing that If I'm called to F/T ministry and I fail to do so, than I'm going to be held accountable for the many people who my ministry may have reached. (At least that's where my mind went.) Read Verses 18 - 21... very straight forward.
Alot to swallow. Alot to contemplate. Alot of responsibility. Alot of conviction.
--- that's what I'm doing now.
It's true that this road I travel,
Sometimes takes me places I don't want to go...
It's true that I'm sometimes reluctant,
And really don't want others to know...
But in His Word I was reminded
That if I refuse to do His will
That not only will the poor sinner die,
But I'd be held accountable still!
The Lord called me to an awesome task,
I'm afraid, and doubt sometimes slows my way;
But that doesn't mean God changed His mind,
And so he convicts me each and every day!
It's an intense struggle that's within,
It burdens me right to my very soul;
To feel that I am outside of God's will
Desperately trying to figure out what will make me whole!
He has called me --- Or at least that's what it "seems"
But at this point, I don't really know;
So the ONLY thing I know to do
Is to try, and see if I'll be accepted to go...
Where He leads me, I will follow;
Even though my faith at best is poor;
And although it is a struggle;
I'm learning to trust him more and more!
*After thought: At this point, I don't care if the door gets slammed in my face (RE: Officership)...All I know is: I "have to go through the process" - to come out of my comfort zone, to face my fear, to get pass the ongoing struggle I've had; Simply to find closure. (Whatever it may be) I'm too exhausted to really see any other goal.
I realized that I'm like somebody sleepwalking each day
Just going through the motions, not really conscious of what I do or say...
And though I can't explain it, my dream just seems surreal;
Simply because with each new day, I'm seeing how much God can heal.
I realized today, that I might be tiptoeing around God's will,
That the things I thought I had put to rest, choose to convict me still;
And although I can't explain it, I'm afraid of what will be...
I'm afraid to confront what seems to be God's will for me.
I realized today, that I am torn into...
And struggling to deal with my failure, and what I am to do;
And although I want to proceed and follow dilligently with God's plans
I fear that I will let down all those who've faithfully with me, have taken their stand...
I realized today, that I only start with intentions that are great;
but lack the momentum to continue, and so my efforts are second rate.
And although I can't explain it -- It seems God hasn't cut his losses yet;
And still, takes the time to remind me; to ensure I don't forget...
I realized today afresh, that God equips those who he calls,
That he continues to encourage, and lift up those who fall;
I am one of the fallen, I've failed time and time again...
And yet I say I am covered by the blood, that cleanses me from all sin...
Poem based on personal perspective. Enough said.
TAKE "ME" OUT OF THE PICTURE:
How can we say we worship you,
When we’re too busy putting SELF on your throne,
When we refuse to step out of our comfort zone,
And believe we can do it on our own?
How can we proclaim you Sovereign,
And declare you Lord of all,
When we hold back in certain areas,
Knowing you’re LORD OF ALL, or not at all?
Why do we think we’re an island,
Meant to walk through life alone,
Why do we refuse to submitt,
And place JESUS on the throne?
It is because of "SELF" -
We always get in your way ,
Setting ourselves up for a fall,
Simply because we will not obey.
Lord, take "ME" out of the picture,
So that others can see you...
REMOVE ‘my goals for me’,
So that your will would come true.
I cannot do it on my own,
I’m simply too full of sin;
So I ask, dear precious Savior -
That daily, you would cleanse me from within.
inspiration for this poem: Venting... and self declaration that again, I am unworthy, and in fact incapable of achieving the godliness that God requires of me, unless GOD completely fills me (and therefor HE has to get rid of whatever is in me unlike him) At this point in time, I really feel as if I'm beating my head of a brick wall ....
(ongoing question "WHY HAS HE NOT CUT HIS LOSSES YET ?????"
Some days it seems I walk alone,
When all I can do, is kneel before God’s throne;
When the unbelievable happens, and my mind won’t rest...
When the only thing I know is my faith is being put to it’s test!
The days when all that can, certainly does go wrong;
When Satan comes in, and tries to steal my song
When I am caused to question the very air I breathe,
And still I will pray that My Lord will relieve...
The days when Job’s experience is made real to me,
When My Lord calls me closer — And to trust in what I cannot see.
To others, I might be in the wrong or getting the raw deal,
To me, it’s a chance for my Gracious Lord to heal...
I must be broken, to exceed my limitations you see —
In order for my Lord to shape and mold me...
I don’t care what it looks like, or about the trials I go through;
Just only that to God I continue to hold unto.
"Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him."
Job 13:15 (NKJV)
This poem is inspired by the current set of circumstances in my life. I can't even believe it myself just how much has happened (negative)...how many things have gone wrong...how things seem to be just falling apart all around me!
I still believe it is because God is allowing things to happen, in order to break me of my self-sufficiency. I believe He's allowing all of this to happen in order to 'force' me to rely on Him completely...
It's a painful experience (literally), it's a heart-breaking and troubling experience...but in the end, I pray that I will come out with greater faith, and a renewed sense of TRUST.
Some of the wise will stumble, so that they may be refined, purified and made spotless until the time of the end, for it will still come at the appointed time. Daniel 11:35
Many ill be purified, made spotless and refined, but the wicked will continue to be wicked. None of the wicked will understand, but those who are wise will understand. Daniel 12:10
My Response:
Lord, I understand. Others around me may not, but I do.
Thy will be done.
(It's coming close to Easter, and I was reminded of a poem I had written last year...seems like I'm stuck going in circles lately, because the poem applies to me very much still....The poem was called "My Easter Prayer")
entry appended - April 26/07...
I copied this from the last copy of our church bulletin. I thought it appropriate:
Never again will I confess "I can't," for "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13)
Never again will I confess unmet needs or poverty, for "My God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory" (Philippians 4:19)
Never again will I confess fear, for "God hath not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" (II Timothy 1:17)
Never again will I confess doubt or lack of faith, for "God has given to every man the measure of faith" (Romans 12:13)
Never again will I confess weakness, for "The Lord is the strength of my life" (Psalm 27:1) Also . . . "for the joy of the Lord is your strength" (Nehemiah 8:10)
Never again will I confess supremacy of Satan over my life, for "Greater is He that is within me than he that is in the world" (II John 4:4)
Never again will I confess defeat, for "God always causes me to triumph in Christ Jesus" (2 Corinthians 2:14)
Never again will I confess lack of wisdom, for "Christ is made unto me wisdom from God" (I Corinthians 1:30)
Never again will I confess sickness, for " . . . with His stripes I am healed" (Isaiah 53:5) And "Jesus Himself took my infirmities and bore my sicknesses" (Matthew 8:17)
Never again will I confess worries and frustrations, for I am "Casting all my cares upon Him who cares for me" (I Peter 5:7)
Never again will I confess bondage, for "where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty" (II Corinthians 3:17)
Never again will I confess condemnation, for "There is now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1)
Happy New Year’s!
(2007)
...A New Year Prayer.
Another year has come and gone
You’ve walked with me each day
You’ve guided me, and counseled me
To help me find my way...
Looking back on where you’ve brought me
And the lessons you’ve so patiently taught,
I can reflect on my own impatience
And how your will, I had diligently fought.
...On those days when I couldn’t see for looking;
But the way was always clear in front of me
To those times when I’d blindly turn to logic,
Refusing to allow myself to Spiritually see -
For a year of stubborn disobedience
I confess intentions that were ill;
Simply because my faith was not strong enough
To abide by, and obey your perfect will.
And now, another year is dawning
May it be graced by your revealing light
May you shine the way through stubbornness,
So I can start it right!
Amen.
I love New Years! It's a chance at New begginnings, to start fresh...to 'move on'
I was reflecting back on 2006. It has been a very painful year - from everything concerning Officership (and more precisely - mistakes I've made), to losses that have taken place in the family, to health concerns with family members....
But God has been in control the whole step of the way.
In the same way, 2006 has been an absolutely wonderful year of growth. I can't even begin to elaborate on that...The only thing I can say, is: Nothing is by accident; Everything is God ordained...
God bless all this New Year. May the Light of the Lord shine upon you (in every way) so that his perfect will is revealed - for your life.
God Bless.
Bravenet Blog 
Blog Community
Get a Free Blog
Manage your Blog
bravenet.com