My title says it all for this entry. Some people are strange. They really are! There are strange people who's logic you just got to shake your head at in complete puzzlement.... and than, there's those who are just complete blessings! lol

On a more reflective note, just last night I was listening to Joyce Meyer's testimony (on youtube...I think the video was entitled "One Life" - 2 parts to it). After hearing it, I really thought - that woman is certainly an example of GOD's GRACE. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not about putting people up on pedastils, and that's not my intention there either - - - I emphasize "God's grace!"

I find it refreshing that her attitude isn't one of bitterment considering the horrible trauma she was subjected to as a child. Instead, she portrays the 'agape' quality that God himself wants reflected in us. I can tell you, that in hearing her story; I'm absolutely amazed at how God has sustained her and brought her through the process of healing. It is nothing short of amazing - - - especially when you look at all the sexual abuse court cases bombarding the media in these days. Not only did God bring her through it, but he brought her to a point where she was able to forgive her father, and even care for him in old age. That's remarkable. How many of us, I wonder would be willing to exhibit that extent of 'forgiveness' to someone who has wronged us so much??  It really quickens the heart to see God's hand at work there.

I realize there are alot of cynics out there regarding televangelists, etc. and I'm not exactly their biggest followers, but I have to just say that a testimony like that does stir something within my Spirit. So thank you Lord, for allowing me to hear it...reminding me that you are still at work in extreme cases and your love prevails.

I am amused at my thoughts today...Just random stuff really - but never the less very relevent.

It's funny actually: Not everyone likes someone who is naturally inclined to being an activist. Jesus was an activist by nature...He wouldn't tolerate the mistreatment of the underdogs. His message was the greatest activist' message ever. Just look at those who he helped...

- those shunned socially...

- the poor...

- the widows...

- children...

- the rich (yep - they need an activist too!)

- criminals...

...and the list goes on.

Jesus was an activist who's mission was one that of "Love."

Well, in thinking about it - maybe some would dissagree with the word "Activist"; but really, He took up our cause. In my mind, that makes him an activist. He martyred himself for us...Yep, sounds like someone who knew how to stand and 'take a stand' to be the champion of the underdog!

We are always the underdog in this sense. Because all of us are sinners.

 What shall we conclude then? Do we have any advantage? Not at all! For we have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under the power of sin.  As it is written:

   “There is no one righteous, not even one; 
    there is no one who understands;
    there is no one who seeks God.    Romans 3:9-11.

There's a reality check for all of us....

So the next time you shun someone because they are being an activist; think twice.

I know there are extremest out there - but if someone is genuinely taking the cause of the underdog (in expression of love - and there's the key!) than they are doing Christ' work. 

Blessings!

2011 is starting out on a much more positive note ("THANK GOD!" I mean that literally too!) I haven't been blogging much lately, but I've certainly been doing my share of contemplating. RE: Hardship. Specifically: "WHY?" Two scriptures to share on this topic (and I'll quote them from the New Living Translation, simply because the wording is easy, and I think it puts it quite straightforward) :

1.)    James 1:2,3 which states "Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow."

and

2.)   2 Corinthians 1:4 "He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us."

So based on this, I feel it's safe to assume that God allows hardship/trials to come our way for three basic reasons:

1. To test our faith.

2. To promote Spiritual growth and endurance (conditioning, if you want to look at that way)

3. To allow us the experiences that will enable us to help others. Makes sense. He created us for HIS purpose (I know - shocker!) and like any good parent, he provides the opportunities for us to experience and grow and develope. God doesn't try to shelter us. He wants us to develope into mature Christians.

Okay - that's my blurb for tonight... NITE NITE!

What keeps me going...

May I quote a scripture? I think this says it all:

I remain confident of this:
   I will see the goodness of the LORD
   in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13 (NIV)

or better yet, I believe the NKJV says it a whole lot plainer:

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
         That I would see the goodness of the LORD
         In the land of the living.

wow. What else can you really add to that?

faith. faith is the only thing which gives me endurance to sustain under the vice of trial. This past year, my faith has been exercised. Like I said before, it hurts... Like someone (out of shape) who starts using muscles they ordinarily don't use... or someone who first starts training... It's difficult. There's pain involved.

but here's the thing: It's worth while.

I don't know exactly why God brought me down the road He did. I don't understand or see the Bigger picture... I do however see that this 'piece' fits. It belongs. I can't become who God wants me to be, unless He shapes my pieces to fit together to become the BIGGER picture He had envisioned for me.

I'm praying that 2011 will be a God glorifying year... not a year that I'll encounter smooth sailing... not a year, where my Christmas wish list gets fulfilled... not a year where I get to nap while others are frantically trying to weather the storm... but a year that "glorifies God."

My prayer:

My gracious Heavenly Father, in looking back through the past months - I can see where your hand has led me. I can see where you've carried me. I can recognize that you've allowed me to go through the fire in order to shapen my - becaue I've become stubborn. I've become dull. I was becoming useless. So, I thank you. I thank you because you cared enough to invest your time and love into an obselete instrument. Lord, I have no right to ask anything of you - because you've already given the very best: Jesus.... so I thank you Jesus, that you chose to offer yourself for me. I thank you for your unconditional love.... and so I say:

"Here am I, so unworthy of the blood;

unworthy of the blood that sets me free

Here am I, so unworthy of the blood,

But yet it flows for me"

(Praise the song writer whoever wrote that...never a truer word written.)

I love you Lord - and I ask your will be done. Amen.

Monday is laundry day for me...(yeah, I know this is friday - I'm thinking ahead! haha)

Well, with me I normally do 'my' laundry once (sometimes twice) a week (I'm blessed with enough clothes that I don't have to do laundry frequently)... Well, I don't know about you, but I know I'm a hard case for spilling stuff.

Q:  So what happens after all week, with a set in stain??

A:  You have to work like a dog to get it out! (or at the very least, call in reinforcements of SHOUT, or something of the like - stain remover, I mean)

Better yet, what happens if you don't treat it? It sets in.

This brings me to my point: Stains are pretty stubborn. Unforgiveness is a Spiritual Stain.

Some stains get set in, and some are very stubborn to treat; Others are easily removed. Same idea concerning "unforgiveness". Some attitudes of unforgiveness are easily remedied. That's because the extent of hurt involved is very little, or just superficial stuff... (like: 'Oops, I broke one of your glasses'....or 'I forgot to do this for you...')

Than there are those situations where relationships are destroyed, people hurt & manipulated, trust broken (alot harder to replace than a drinking glass!), and people's worlds are turned upside down...
That's the kind that take a little work.

These kind of stains require to be:

• "pre-treated with prayer"
•...soaked in God's grace
•...put through the wash of redemption

...and sometimes; if it's a really stubborn stain: Repeated process of cleansing.

In the world of 'Laundry', these are the items that would be simply disregarded, and disposed of, and replaced. In the world of people's lives; this of course, isn't possible. People are much more valuable than a simple article of clothing. And forgiveness is certainly worth the effort. Afterall, if we claim we are Christians and yet, do not exhibit love (to others! Irregardless of what they have done to us) - than we are the ones with the BIG problem!

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." 1 John 4: 7,8

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation." 2 Corinthians 5:17-19 

I've had to remove some pretty tough stains in my life, and I'm grateful to God because he's better than anything else for helping us get those tough stains out!)

I laugh, when I think about it...because some people think grass, or grease are the worst kind of stains...Unforgiveness is definately the worst kind.

On a bright note, I think God is getting me close to moving on to a *new day*

I know my challenge is unforgiveness. I'm confronting it right now, and I pray that God will give me the complete Spirit of forgiveness so that this stain doesn't permanently ruin my 'robes of white'

Afterall, I can't very well call myself a Christian, and claim to be 'Whiter than snow' if I'm sporting the sin of unforgiveness.

I want to be blameless in HIS sight.

I present this question from Psalm 15:1, and the answer found in verse 2,3... 

 "LORD, who may dwell in your sacred tent?
   Who may live on your holy mountain?

The one whose walk is blameless,
   who does what is righteous,
   who speaks the truth from their heart; 
whose tongue utters no slander,
   who does no wrong to a neighbor,
   and casts no slur on others; "

marshmallow dreams to all. heavy topic for me, but at least I feel as if I'm making progress.  )

I think Sanctification is a painful process. I say that, because all of God's lessons are not learned easily. They are not learned easily, but well worth it.

the world will forsake you...others will dissapoint you...you'll go through difficult times within your life (trials)...your faith will be put to the test!

Bottom line: Popularity isn't on top of God's priority list. Holiness is. That's a very elementary fact....nothing genius discovered there.

Leviticus 19:2b "‘Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy."

so the question is: How do we obtain holiness/sanctification? what is the method through which God achieves these things? How does He choose to shape us into that? What does his pre-conditioning include?

Well - in one word:    Trials.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  James 1:2-4

Here's where the rubber hits the road..."Let perseverance finish its work" ...

Do you know how many times I've been tempted to throw it all in?!??! Do you have any idea how many times I've stopped in complete mental/emotional exhaustion and said "Lord, I cannot go on!" (I feel called to F/T ministry by the way - - - so when I say all of this, I don't refer to me walking away from God. I refer to me not being able to fullfill the "calling" I have on my life.) I honestly feel torn. I "KNOW" I have a specific call on my life... I just don't feel that I have what it takes to complete it. 

I am at a place right now where I feel broken, and isolated. I've just endured the best part of 2 years of what I would consider "Hell on earth" for me. I've attempted to take the 'High Road' in dealing with the issue at hand, and I've prayed my way through the entire process...

The good news: I'm still serving our Lord and Savior. I haven't walked away from all leadership...

This brings me to where I am now. I'm exercising "perseverance". If I could use the analogy, exercising perseverance like using muscles you haven't used in ages! It leaves you stiff and sore! (So for all those fitness buffs out there; physical feats of endurance are admirable but you haven't met your match until you've took on Spiritual ones!)

My prayer:

Thank you Lord for giving me the motivation to take 'one more step'. Lord, you know I'm weary and I am feeling so down trodden...Father, you know that I need 'help' right now. So my prayer is that you'll provide. Lord, I call on you as the Mighty Counsellor and the Great Physician. I pray Lord that you'd equip me to do your will. Give me fresh vision and understanding so that I might fullfill your ministry task that you've set out for me to do. I pray for those who read this blog also - May your Word that you've placed on my heart speak to them in some way. I committ myself again, into your care and I cry out "Abba, Father - I need to rest a while in you". I pray all this through the matchless name of Jesus, asking THY will be done. Amen

A gaping wound exist

Where the piece got ripped out of me

The wound has become afflicted

With toxins they don't even see.

My feelings are so bruised,

By the torment I've endured,

And I'm starting to wonder right now

If the infliction isn't better than the cure!

I've gone through so much,

And now I find myself in a place of dread,

Your hurt has made me numb,

And I wonder if I'm not dead.

I'm wishing my time away right now,

Because I'm trying to do the noble thing

Not wanting to walk out of my committment,

Yet, Spiritually - I feel I have nothing to bring.

Nobody quite understands

The extent of turmoil that I go through,

I don't even understand myself,

And I really don't know what to do!

Not feeling all that Christlike right now. Completely phet up with the fight. Wishing someone would come and fight my battles for me for a while..."Help"

Contrary to popular belief, life's 3 step instruction manual isn't

1. LIVE

2. Pay taxes

3. Die

I know, I know...you're all shocked - but it isn't.

I'm going through some pretty anxious days right now...and again, I know, I know!! (I can almost hear some faithful friends reciting this off to me:  "Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Phillipians 4:6

and that's the truth!

so that brings me to my next point: I'm watching things as they unfold. Sometimes "watching" isn't easy. Sometimes watching is downright painful, when you feel your hands are tied. Which is why, you need to pray first.

It will be good for those servants whose master finds them watching when he comes. Luke 12:37a

and of course the only other thing which falls in line with watching is WAITING! That is my least favorite part; because patience isn't a strong suite for me. *SIGH*

This night is endless for me, and I'm wishing THIS week away.

But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me. Micah 7:7

...so for those of you who are wondering what the 3 Step instruction manual for life is:

Step 1: Pray.

Step 2: Watch.

Step 3: Wait.

Repeat steps as nessesary.

It's seems lately I've gotten so preoccupied with sorting out the drama in my walk; that I've failed to give mention to the positive stuff...

Loving working with Junior Action group...Loving working with Scooters...Loving the fellowship I am with now.

Even though I admitt, I'm not too fussy on letting others(new people) get too close to me - I am doing fairly well. Plus, my schedule really doesn't allow for me to get too involved.

Looking into getting involved with Bible Study right now. Let's see how that goes.  )

Blessings!

God is moving ME on, He is leading the way!!!

I was specifically reading some Old testament references, and I was again drawn to Ezekiel 34.  What's ironic about this is probably about 3 or 4 years ago I preached from this passage; Long before any of my current frustrations unfolded. God I think, was preparing me - giving me the heads up. It's funny because it was only last week (when I attempted to write this initially) that I thought about this.

I'll do things a little backwards - Here's God's response:

¹¹ “‘For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. ¹² As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. ¹³ I will bring them out from the nations and gather them from the countries, and I will bring them into their own land. I will pasture them on the mountains of Israel, in the ravines and in all the settlements in the land. ¹⁴ I will tend them in a good pasture, and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land. There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. ¹⁵ I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign LORD. ¹⁶ I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice."  Ezekiel 34:11-16 [NIV]

... and here's God's beef:

¹ The word of the LORD came to me: ² “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Woe to you shepherds of Israel who only take care of yourselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? ³ You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of the flock. ⁴ You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. ⁵ So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals. ⁶ My sheep wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over the whole earth, and no one searched or looked for them."  Ezekiel 34:1-6 [NIV]

and of course, if you want to link up to NT reference /parrellel, we look at John 10:1-18 where of course Jesus describes himself as the Good Shepherd.

There are those who've been hurt by the organized church. There are those who've wandered from the church because of it. (I realize it gives direct reference to Israel, but it applies to Gentiles alike). They've done so, because they've been 'driven out' ~ somewhere in the middle of it, is the shepherd's responsibilities...

And than on the other end of the spectrum: Is the sheep's! The sheep's responsibility/job is to listen for the Shepherd voice.

OK - that's my rant for the day. Now to move on to something more constructive. Back to cleaning...

Blessings!